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Joke of the Day

"The Exorcist was probably the worst workout video ever."

"RT if you are my car keys and I can't find you"

"Lies I tell at work: ~ I'm sorry I said that ~ I didn't mean to offend you ~ It won't happen again ~ Of course I don't think you're an idiot"

"What do I look for in a car? A sound-proof cabin so I can sing every rap lyric regardless of the neighborhood I'm driving through."

"Why Hitler used uBoots? Because the enemy did nazi them coming."

"[Courtroom] Judge: One more word & I'll hold you in contempt! Me: Yes! *jumps on his lap & throws arms around him* This is nice."

"Can't release my sex tape because an animal was harmed during filming :("

"How do you spell elephant ? E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t ""That's not how the dictionary spells it"" ""You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelt it !"""

"Joke from my daughter. What is bruce banners favourite kind of potato? HULK'S MASH! no idea where she picked it up from, but it made me chuckle"

"There's no ""creative"" way to arrange 29 sponsor logos. Let it go, walkathon t-shirt designer."