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Joke of the Day

"My Christmas tree isn't the only thing that's getting lit this time of year"

"Used lettuce for my burger bun tonight. I've never been more prepared to become your most hated Facebook friend."

"[Dog Restaurant] ""Is the Book Report any good?"" Yes, Sir. ""How's it prepared?"" A 9yo stayed up till 3am to finish it. ""Ooh, I'll have that."""

"Why was Luke Skywalker convicted of rape ? He used the force ."

"How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Hippies screw in tents."

"Probably the hardest part about being a dj is when you get into a fight and you gotta hold your headphones up to your ear with one shoulder."

"What did the psychiatrist say to the man who walked into her office wearing only cling wrap? I can clearly see you(')r(e) nuts."

"When I found out the murderer dismembered the victim, It really tore me into pieces."

"A chickpea goes to a liberal arts college... What's its major? Falafelphy"

"Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out"