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Joke of the Day

"I was doing some DIY the other day and took out my step ladder... I don't get on with my real ladder."

"BOSS: quit listening to Vanilla Ice, participate in the meeting, and pay attention ME: so... stop, collaborate, and listen? BOSS: you're fired"

"*Bricks getting laid* Brick Layer: ""Oh yeah! You like that shit don't you!"""

"Why did the chicken end up in the soup ? Because it ran out of cluck !"

"If you're wearing sunglasses & it's not at all sunny out, you can't get offended when I grab your arm to guide you safely across the street."

"Pirate walks in a bar with his ship's steering wheel stuffed in his pants. The bartender asks do you know that's in your pants? Arrr yes. It's drivin me nuts!"

"I told my wife I wanted to try anal sex She told me she's been having sex with an asshole for years"

"What do you call a cannibal that only eats disabled people? A Vegetarian"

"What do you put in a box to make it lighter? Courtney Love"

"I like my women like I like my isotopes. Stable."