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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an angry Reddit mod? [deleted]"

"""Doc, it's embarrassing, but I don't feel sexy."" ""Try wearing the wife's panties."" ""Really?"" ""Yeah, the red ones with the lace are nice"""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Army Ant ! Army Ant who ? Army Ants coming for tea then ?"

"ELI5: If Silicon Valley seceded from the US would they be considered a developing nation?"

"What do you call a Muslim Girl dating an Agnostic Guy? For safety purposes, I don't know if I should tell you her name.."

"What's the difference between a plastic tube and an adjustable spanner ? Both of em are in plastic, except for the adjustable spanner"

"I steal candy bars using slight of hand... You could say I have a few Twix up my sleeve"

"""daddy I hear footsteps on the roof, it must be Santa"" *checks santa tracker* new zealand? *grabs frying pan and knife* go get in bed, son"

"You should always carry pepper when you go into the city In case you become a victim of a-salt!"

"listen, officer - t h e o r e t i c a l l y - would I still get a carpool lane ticket if I have a body in the trunk"