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Joke of the Day

"What did General Custer's advisors tell him before the Battle of Little Bighorn? Don't do it, it's Siouxicide"

"A seal walks into a bar... And the bartender says ""what will it be?"" The seal replies ""I'm fine with anything as long as it's not Canadian club."""

"Going to show my kids before and after pictures of Lindsay Lohan and say this girl didn't think she needed a nap either."

"What does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced? about a Buccaneer (buck-an-ear) yuck...yuck...yuck"

"Nothing sadder than the look on my dogs face when I drop food from the table and they realize it's lettuce."

"Why did the lady go out doors with her purse open? Because she expected some change in the weather."

"How come Mr. and Mrs. Claus don't have any kids? Because Santa only cums once a year and its down the chimney!"

"What do you call a one night stand with a robot? Nut and bolt"

"What do you call a party of communists that haven't seen each other in years? Soviet Reunion Terrible and painful, I know."

"96% of my life is spent trying to figure out when I can get my next nap in."