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Joke of the Day

"I say we take all the bad chemistry jokes and Barium"

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"Women always had all the power over me on first dates, especially when they had googly eyes on their chest."
"Everyone's unique! For instance, I like milk in my coffee, but other people are dying of malnutrition."
"I just saw a guy put a hamburger between 2 pancakes so I proposed on the spot and he just said ""no"" so he's obviously the smartest man alive"
"*guy looks around to see if anyone is looking* *sees the coast is clear, licks tree* And that's how they found out about maple syrup"
"Peter Jackson just found a postcard JRR Tolkien wrote his nephew in 1938. He's turning it into 22 nine-hour films."
"The dad asks his son: ""What has four legs and isn't alive? Son: ""nice try, a chair!"" Dad: ""Nope. Our dog just died."""
"I'm gonna go out on a limb and declare 'Drugs' the winner of the war on drugs."
"Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris."
"So what's Robin Hood up to these days? He changed his name to 'Bernie Sanders' and is now running for president."