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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the teacher who was trying to instil good table manners in her girls? She told them that a well brought girl never crumbles her bread or rolls in her soup."

"No, takeout goes in the front seat. You sit in the back."

"Which England player keeps up the fuel supply ? Paul gas coin !"

"Save money this Halloween by utilizing last years' hobo costume to dress up as this year's federal employee."

"Me: Okay... Time for bed. Brain: Cool. Me: Brain: Me: Brain: If you had a pterodactyl, would you name him Terry... or Perry??"

"Brought a stapler to a gun fight and now everyone is neatly organized into piles of corpses and sorted by height. The police will be pleased"

"Two prostitutes are discussing one asks the other: -What did you ask to Santa Claus this year? the other one answers: -Fifty dollars like everybody else"

"What kind of gas supports violence? pro-pain"

"Why was the farmer hopping mad ? Because someone had trodden on his corn !"

"Wife and I go to subway... She says she can't decide between a 12"" or a 6"". I told her get the 6"" sandwich and I'll give you 8 inches after supper"