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Joke of the Day

"The real reason Darth Vader cut off Luke's hand was because he touched the thermostat"

"How do you fit 100 dead babies in a barrel? with a blender. How do you get them out? With a straw."

"President Bush's speech on the 10th Anniversary of Katrina Brownie did a heck of a job!"

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino..."

"what's a pirate comedian's favorite reddit? aaaarrrrrrrr/jokes"

"So I was fucking my sister... ...and she stops me and says, ""Wow you fuck just like Dad."" I said, ""Yeah, that's what Mom tells me."""

"HEY. Our ancestors didn't eat brunch. They ate rocks. And fought dinosaurs. Ever heard of fire? They INVENTED it. Enjoy your Bloody Mary."

"Me to waitress: ""Do you have frog legs?"" Her response: ""Yes.."" Me: ""Then hop on back to the kitchen and get me a steak"""

"What's the difference between an Isis camp and an orphanage? I don't know, I just fly the drone"

"That's definitely not my ringtone, but I'm going to have to check my phone anyway."