145349

Joke of the Day

"I want a girl to go down on me As much as the Pokemon Go servers do"

"What happens when Anthony Weiner tries to shake someones hand? They think long and hard before they touch weiner."

"A woman walks into a bar... turns out, it was actually a kitchen."

"Difference between an android and an iphone. *iphone falls to the floor* Breaks screen. *android falls to the floor* Breaks floor."

"A blind man walks into a bar, and a chair, a table, and a human."

"It's not Wingardium Leviosa It's Wingardium Leviosah-Dude"

"The First Joke I wrote and Performed http://youtu.be/jENBlYJ6eOk"

"Baby, tonight let's put the kids to bed, pour some wine, turn the lights down low & argue over whose turn it is to move the Elf on the Shelf"

"A mobster walks into a bar, but then he turns around and walks out. Because he realized it was a set-up."

"When I die I'm going to go to heaven and God is going to be like nope, remember what you said on Facebook"