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Joke of the Day
"Why are midgets so skinny? Because they eat h*elf*ally"
Next Joke
"How my dad taught me how to button my suit coats. He said *""Think of it like a woman; sometimes the top, always the middle, but never the bottom.""*"
"Why is Barbie never pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box."
"i'm only a good advice giver from 11pm to 2am central time. any time besides that if you tell me anything i'll just go ""oh."""
"Two wrongs don't make a right... but three lefts make a right. And two Wrights make a plane 6 lefts make a plane."
"The pub manager is showing the new busboy around the kitchen, when they come to two doors. The busboy asks, ""Which one is the 'in' door?"" ""Let me show you"", says the manager, and 'e walks in."
"I just came up with Trump's inauguration drink I call it, ""Make America Smashed Again"" It's a White Russian with pumpkin spice."
"Have you seen the new movie, ""Constipation""? It may not have come out yet."
"exactly 14 yrs ago today, I pointed at a beautiful woman & said ""that's the girl I'm gonna marry one day"" but it turned out to be a lamppost"
"My friend came over and left his laptop on the floor. My mother thought it was a scale. Conclusion: My mother weighs 950 dollars."