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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to start a grocery store to compete with Food Lion I think I'll call it Nourishment Cheetah"

"How many christians does it take to change a lightbulb? three, but they're really one"

"[boarding plane with really old pilot] ""think his heart will hold out? lol"" attendent: excuse me, sir? ""depart out, what time do we leave?"""

"I swear to god dude, if you say ""But what if we get arrested?"" One more time you're out of the group."

"It must be hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest. I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet."

"A Boy was born of an Indian, Chinese, Irish, and Italian grandmother.... They couldn't settle on a name, Until it hit them! They named him Ravi O. Lee Sorry"

"What's black and white and red all over? The slowest zebra."

"TIFU with my girlfriend... ...She was on top"

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? TENTACLES!"

"So Mickey Mouse is in a lawyer's office. The lawyer says ""So you say you want to divorce your wife because she's crazy?"". Micky Mouse replies ""No, I said she's fucking Goofy!"""