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Joke of the Day

"Some people say America is obese, but I blame our flag. Everyone knows that horizontal stripes make you look fatter."

"Roommate and I got our first electric bill and long story short we're now Amish"

"What is the computer's favorite food? Microchips."

"What do you call a hooker with a runny nose? Full"

"What do the Kardashians and penises have in common? They are both stuck up cunts"

"Houses in detroit are a lot like cheap ugly hookers... Only $1, but still no one wants them."

"Try to think of a world without hypotheticals. You can't."

"Honey I Shrunk the Kids : A Beginner's Guide to Steroid Use"

"What do you usually find with four Catholics? A fifth."

"When I die, my last thought will probably be ""Man that falcon looks pissed."""