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Joke of the Day

"You know you're getting old when you scroll down the birthday drop down menu ... And it starts going into Roman Numerals."

"What do you call the sweat that forms on a guys scrotum while he copulates with his sister? Relative humidity."

"[Obamacare Meeting] *Biden raises hand* *Obama sighs* Yes Joe? Will the doctor still have lollipops? Sure. *Entire Congress sighs w/ relief*"

"A punk girl goes shopping and asks the cashier ""Can i get a refund if my parents like these clothes?"""

"Back in college, I used to hang a sock on the doorknob when I wanted to signal my roommate that I had no idea how to fold laundry."

"Why do white girls help fight heartburn? Because they're so basic."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A Canoe tips."

"So annoying how every time I go to sleep, my wife starts whispering into my ear ""Go towards the light."""

"After Captain America was thawed from the ice, his first encounter with a Japanese-American must've been really awkward."

"'I have trains ran on me all the time.' - Railroads. Or my ex-girlfriend."