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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day ? Pupil: I get up early !"

"Why are women bad at parking? Because they have a wrong perception of how long 20 centimeters are."

"My surname: 'Ever.' My given forename: 'Superior'. Similar to a torn talofibular ligament, I am not one to be trifled with."

"Cop: license and registration please. Me: (gives cop both) Cop: you drinking tonight? Me: no. Cop: you handed me 2 empty beer cans."

"Praying is a lot like masturbation. It feels good to the person doing it but does nothing for the person being thought about."

"On a scale from 1 - overweight black woman, how confident are you?"

"I put my pants on just like everyone else. With the help of my twelve most trusted cats."

"If Amy Schumer was a football player, what team would she play for? The Stealers."

"Welcome to Cupcake Yoga! NomNomaste."

"Don't hand out condoms to high school students. Take away their deodorant and toothbrush. That'll cut down teen pregnancy"