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Joke of the Day
"What's little,metal, and will ruin dinner A bullet in your face"
Next Joke
"What is the hardest part of cutting a baby in half with a straight razor? My erection."
"Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain? A: After a dye job."
"How is circumcision like the Great Jedi Purge? They both get rid of the force kin!"
"At Walmart with a box of condoms and a Barbie play set, now I need to pick the right cashier to ensure maximum awkwardness for us both."
"The American Presidential Campaign is a lot like the new Mac. **There is no escape.**"
"""I'm a vegetarian but I eat fish."" - People who don't get how definitions work."
"[lost in Spain] Wife: ask that man where we are Me [pretending to speak Spanish with a local]: gracias Wife: well? Me: we are in Spain"
"INTERVIEWER: your resume says that you take things too literally ME: how the hell did my resume say that?"
"Why did Simba's dad die? Because he didn't Muv-fasta"