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Joke of the Day

"Roman Centurion walks into a bar... ...holds up two fingers and says, ""I'll have five beers, please."""

"*Air horn sound* *Second airhorn sound* Me: ""Well this clearly isn't deodorant."""

"What's the riddle? What has a foot but no legs?"

"If April showers bring may flowers, what do may flowers bring? Hundreds of years of disease and genocide."

"Just found out that ""3 Men and a Baby"" isn't a movie about Jesus's birth."

"I was going to do the dishes but they weren't in the mood."

"If there are two things Trump voters hate... The first is being called, ""racist."" And the second is black people."

"Don't say ""lets get weird"" on our date then get freaked out I'm dressed in Forever 21 and holding your cousin hostage."

"Why don't black people get on cruise ships? They're not falling for that again."

"What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence? Utter destruction! !!!!"