4811

Joke of the Day

"Q: What happens when two snails fight? A: They slug it out."

"Did you hear about all the Hamburgers that showed up at the Hot Dogs' prom? They were in abundance."

"I once dated a girl who told me she had had sex with Mr. Peanut. She was fucking nuts."

"I cant stop eating ice cream... It's a rocky road to addiction."

"So my brother is dating a mermaid. Yeah, apparently their relationship's on the rocks."

"Is that all? ""I wanna stab you."" Huh? ""Cut your throat."" What? ""Drink your blood."" Um. ""Have your baby."" Uh. ""Kidding! I'll have a coke."""

"Never sure of the differences between a crocodile, an alligator, and a staple remover."

"A man has an option to turn into any object in the universe, he chose a butter knife. He wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer..."

"Isn't it so wierd when you're thinking about someone and then they suddenly appear? Anyway my dad just caught me browsing r/jokes"

"What's a Jedi's favorite brand of vodka? Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut."