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Joke of the Day

"Remember, people only rain on your parade because they're jealous of your sun & tired of their shade."

"*Michael Cera stubs his toe on a cotton ball*"

"Leo and Matt Damon are talking..... Leo:wanna hear a joke? Matt: sure Leo:OSCAR! Matt: i did'nt get it Leo:EXACTLY"

"So, the Muslim word for sin is haram... ... does that mean a Muslim's sinful girlfriend would be called a... Haram bae? I'll see myself out."

"Boss set out a bowl of hard candy in the break room, so I guess we had our Christmas party today."

"PS4 - 29 Titan looking for fresh vog normal PSN allynlewis182"

"What did one saggy boob say to the other one? You know, if we don't get a lift, people will think we're nuts."

"What do you call an Asian guy with a great work ethic? Task Oriental."

"Why do petri dishes make good conversationalists? They're cultured."

"""Sir, I need to ask you to please stop spanking your monkey. This is a bank."" ""Fine, but I'm never coming here again. Come on, George."""