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Joke of the Day

"I just want to be wealthy enough to leave notes for the house-sitter like ""If the puma seems restless, let him splash in the Jacuzzi a bit."""

"Facebook's great for when you wanna see a picture or a joke you saw on Twitter four years ago"

"Knock, Knock... The creator of the Knock Knock joke should get a Nobel Prize."

"Want to hear a funny abortion joke? Sorry, couldn't conceive one."

"A Freudian slip? That's where you think one thing but fuck your mother."

"I like my women just like my wine 10 years old and locked in the cellar."

"Why did the console peasant cross the road? To render buildings on the other side."

"My wife has really dry skin so I asked my doctor what I could do about it. He said, ""Give her a milk bath."" I said, ""Pasteurized?"" The doctor replied, ""No, just up to her knees will do."""

"Why are Eastern-Europeans so racist on average? They're waiting for one more dictator to treat them like animals before confirming that racism sucks."

"How did the bear kill the man? With his bear hands."