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Joke of the Day

"Facebook's great for when you wanna see a picture or a joke you saw on Twitter four years ago"

"[NSFW] MY wife walked in on me fucking my daughter... I wasn't sure if she was surprised by the fact that I was fucking my daughter, or the fact that the abortion clinic gave me the fetus..."

"A recent survey shows... A recent survey shows that nine out of ten people masturbate in the shower. Do you know what the tenth does? No? I guess you're one of the nine then."

"I painted 1 room & then the hallway and room next to it looked kinda shabby and I'm guessing this is how plastic surgery gets out of hand."

"Why was the Polaroid fanfiction ignored by the photography community? Because it wasn't Canon."

"A violist and a cellist were standing on a sinking ship together. ""Help!"" cried the cellist ""I can't swim!"" ""Don't worry"" said the violist ""just fake it."""

"There was a time when men expected to be your lover without getting with your friends. That all changed in 1996. Let me tell you a story..."

"If there are two things Trump voters hate... The first is being called, ""racist."" And the second is black people."

"Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts"

"Back when I was a kid we stared at the wall when we took a shit and we liked it!"