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Joke of the Day

"I love you my friends and that's not just the beer talking. It's from the bottom of my bottle of wine too."

"I'm glad there isn't a pop quiz every time I claim to have read something."

"Gentrification tends to happen during autumn Because the brown leaves."

"Are you russian? No, I'm not in a hurry."

"What did the sadist say to the masochist? No Probably has been put on here before but it made me chuckle."

"Weird I always was a little different growing up. People are always coming up to me and asking me, ""Jay, why are you so odd, why are you so weird?"" Then I say, ""How the fuck do you know my name?"""

"[A pair of crocs sitting on a riverbank] Why do you think people hate us so much? ""Idk. I blame the idiots who wear us with socks."""

"I need advice. I was whipping someone in a gimp mask during a BDSM session, but when he took it off - it wasn't my husband. Whoops, wrong sub."

"""Removing my make up"" Or how I like to call it: ""Reset face to factory settings"""

"What's the world's longest Ted Talk? How I Met Your Mother"