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Joke of the Day

"New egg is so Corny (Have they always done this) http://oi61.tinypic.com/33kak2a.jpg"

"Me: How awful do I look? Him: You always look beautiful. Me: Do I need to put makeup on? Him: Maybe just a... *stare* Him: No."

"Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes? A: No eye-deer."

"What did the manager of a log cutting company tell his employees when they were working too slow? Chop chop."

"I started two diet plans today Because one wasn't enough to fill my appetite."

"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says ""Hey did you see Donald Trump talking about his dick on tv last night? Can you believe that fucking guy might be president?"""

"The longest 10 seconds of my day is when I have to hold down the button on an electronic thing to turn it off"

"Don't go chasing waterfalls. *turns on tap* We have their children. They will come to us."

"""Bloodied cricket bat found in Oscar Pistorius' house"" In addition, locals have told police that he was previously sighted with stumps."

"I love how you changed ""Conclusions"" to ""Learnings"" in my PowerPoint. Any other made-up words I should add?"