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Joke of the Day
"Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken"
Next Joke
"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo? Probably an award or something. I mean, that would be pretty crazy. Alternative punch line: I don't know. The zoo won't let me try."
"[time travels to 1941 Berlin to kill Hitler] Damn I should've learned German [looks down at American flag bodysuit] This was also a bad idea"
"Come forth... And God said to John ""Come forth and receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and won a toaster."
"Why is it so hard for programmers to get a prescription for pain killers? They have a history with codeine."
"So 2 trains crashed in Germany today... Lets just hope the train wasn't going to Auschwitz or more then Germans would have gotten injured."
"Batman was arrested today in the Vatican He was released on Christian Bale"
"Heading down to the Autopsy Club later. It's open Mike night."
"Scientists created the first white laser. They were fired for racism and hate speech."
"I played Dodgeball... I got Bullied.... I ate Gluten... I didn't get Participation Trophies... I turned out fine... So will your kid..."