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Joke of the Day

"I must admit, my ""Kiss Me, I Have The Zika Virus"" T-shirt is giving me a lot of personal space inside this subway car."

"Turned on TV and heard people talking about grinding, pumping & hole filling. Sadly, it was just CNN."

"There is only one rule for when you're in Mexico Trust no Juan."

"What's the difference between a baby and a washing machine? A washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load into it. #bigsorry"

"People who speak who speak 3 languages are trilingual People who speak 2 languages are bilingual. People who speak 1 language are Americans."

"What if that light at the end of the tunnel you see when you die is just you being born from another vagina?"

"Her: I like how you did your hair today. Me: OMG thank you, I passed out in my closet last night."

"Where do Pixar employees go for Happy Hour? CGI Friday's."

"*posts a link from buzzfeed to facebook* omg this. it's all so true. number 8 I can't XD"

"I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't go to the gym with me. We just weren't working out."