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Joke of the Day

"My father used to go out drinking all night, come home and blow chunks. why we called our dog chunks, I'll never know."

Next Joke
 
"Sorry I yelled ""April Fool's"" while you were proposing to your girlfriend."
"Where do space monsters live? In far distant terror-tory."
"Always crush and snort your first pill on the pharmacy counter to make sure they're not passing you some fake shit."
"I'm single by choice. Just not my choice."
"What did one snowman say to the other? Smells like carrots!"
"So my girlfriend told me to treat her like a princess. So I put her in a castle and sent some Italian plummer to find her."
"What did drunk say to the blonde? Nice ass."
"*jesus turns around to find only 11 apostles* ""WHO UNFOLLOWED ME"""
"Fish Cakes A guy walks into a bar with a Salmon under his arm and says, ""Do you sell fish cakes here?"" Bartender: No we don't. Guy: That's a shame... it's his birthday."