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Joke of the Day

"What did one snowman say to the other? Smells like carrots!"

"A women takes her to dog to the vet. ""Doctor every time I take a shower my great dane tries to hump me""... Doctor: So you want him neutered. Woman: No, declawed."

"Wow! This whole being up early is neat; it's like daytime but sooner! Huh! The birds... they sound, you know, pretty! It's all a bit scary."

"I was sexually assaulted by tony the tiger today. I'm pushing charges for rrrrrrape."

"You may think that a pirate's favorite letter is R But they actually love the C."

"I bought an official Craig David fridge recently, and it's useless! It only chills on Sundays!"

"So I'm taking a Terrorism and Covert Politics class Pretty sure I bombed the midterm."

"WIFE: I love you NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: Actually it's just emotional comfort after years of being toget- WIFE: *packing* I'll be at my mothers"

"Did you know that diarrhea is genetic? It runs in your jeans!"

"Santa Clause for Halloween. Axe Murderer for Christmas."