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Joke of the Day

"Just because I reported several women to HR for not washing their hands after using the rest room doesn't mean the camera they found is mine"

"I just had sex with a 16-year-old girl on an elevator... It was wrong on so many levels."

"Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because his mother was in a jam."

"What did the bacon say to the sandwich? This club can't even handle me right now"

"My psychologist says I have trouble identifying my emotions Not quite sure how I feel about it"

"Every time I listen to oldies I'm like, ""These people didn't even have cellphones. What the fuck do they know about love?"""

"""Doctor, I'm afraid of people yelling letters of the alphabet at me."" THERAPIST: Oh! You are? WHY???"

"When's the best time to procrastinate? Later."

"BOSS: You forgot my birthday didn't you? ME: *lighting candle* No what gave u that idea? BOSS: idk maybe that candle stuck in a urinal cake?"

"Who isn't white or black but shows you no color? A Rod"