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Joke of the Day

"Why are wedding dresses white? It's the most popular colour of home appliances, washing machines, dishwashers,........"

"Just laid an egg. Very worried"

"Doctor doctor I keep thinking I'm a spoon. Sit there and don't stir."

"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."

"How many ants are needed to fill an apartment ? Ten ants !"

"I know I'll never be a rocket scientist... because the amount of math they have to do is astronomical and I'm not very stellar at it."

"You know what I find odd? Numbers that aren't divisible by 2."

"Is it blowjobs or blow jobs? Fuck, I hate writing thank you cards."

"Some music just moves you. For example this Taylor Swift song playing on the radio makes me wanna drive off a cliff"

"Why didn't Hitler go to strip clubs? Because he didn't like poles."