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Joke of the Day

"I hate when I buy new shoes, and I have to learn to drive all over again."

"How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know... I broke the lightbulb after I threw the first one."

"What do you say when leaving the Periodic Table of Elements' police station? Cu Copper."

"My iPod started crying after I dropped it. I said ""You'll be okay, stop syncing about it"". We laughed & made jokes about Microsoft together."

"Micheal Sam will have the most sacks in the NFL next year... ....on his face"

"I recently bought a dog from a Blacksmith... And as soon as I got him into the house he made a bolt for the door."

"I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance.. ..so I pushed her over."

"What do you call feeling bad about watching lame reality TV shows? Survivor guilt."

"Q: What did the football say to the football player? A: I get a kick out of you."

"What happens when a fly drinks rum? It gets buzzed!"