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Joke of the Day

"Why was the Spanish train the primary suspect? It had locomotive. (I'm not sorry)"

"Did you know that Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard? Neither did she."

"The Big Bang Theory: God Spoke and BANG! it happened. "

"I have a tattoo of a gigantic bruise on my left ankle in case anyone ever asks me to go hiking. Or help them move."

"I know it's time to wax my upper lip when the cashier at Firehouse Subs gives me the policeman's discount."

"Have you heard of the gay Irish couple? Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael"

"What is sharper, your butt-hole or your teeth? Butt-hole, because it can cut your shit."

"I want my abs to be like NHS nurses... Cut"

"What's white and can't climb trees? A Refrigerator"

"Patient: Doctor every night i see ants playing football Doctor: It's okay take these pills Patient: No way tomorrow is the final"