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Joke of the Day

"Patient: Doctor every night i see ants playing football Doctor: It's okay take these pills Patient: No way tomorrow is the final"

"What is six inches long and stiff in the morning? Crib death."

"What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board? An ironing board's legs are hard to open."

"I just fell flat on my face outside and made a reverse snow angel trying to get up"

"ELF COP: You have the right to remain splendiferous! Anything you say will be wonderful-funderful! You CRIMINAL: Pls just take me to jail"

"""All lower case?"" -your mom getting an email address"

"Pa's being chased by a bull! Well what in tarnation do you want me to do about it? Get me some film for my camera!"

"Sometimes, I wake up grumpy... But usually I let him sleep."

"What did the baby skunk want to be when he grew up? A big stinker!"

"Why is ink an unwise investment? Because it's a dyeing industry. - This is too obvious a joke to be original, but it came to me during my econ class, and so it's original to me!"