146587

Joke of the Day

"Did you know that Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard? Neither did she."

"Toddlers & Ghosts -haunt you at all hours -lots of moaning/screaming -unclear motives -not helpful with housework -randomly open cupboards"

"I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me."

"Study Finds Birth Control Pills Linked to Fewer Severe Knee Injuries In Teenage Girls... (REMOVED)"

"Every fight is a food fight when you're a cannibal."

"2 flies are sitting on a piece of poop, one cuts a fart; what did the other one say? Hey come on, I'm eating here!"

"Policeman: I've had my eye on you for some time now. Young Lady: That's funny. I thought you were arresting me for speeding."

"You seem like the kind of person who always tried to open the wrong side of the milk carton in grade school."

"What's the difference between Jesus and Mexicans? Jesus doesn't have any tattoos of Mexicans."

"Show up late for a meeting and say, ""Sorry, I have the WORST hangover."" Then, whip out a copy of ""The Hangover Part 2"" and laugh and laugh."