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Joke of the Day

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change & the strength to lift a car over my head. Saving the third wish for later."

"What did Black-Della wear? Whatever her Massa chooses."

"The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar It was tense"

"I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.... But I don't know Y"

"I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago... ...so far, all it's been doing is gathering dust..."

"What do you call a duck on a rampage? Amok"

"Why did the engineer buy a mattress? To sleep under it"

"You think you're not capable of violence, but then a bird sings at 6AM and you start researching surface-to-air missiles."

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."

"What do you call the boss hit by a shrink ray? Micromanagement!"