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Joke of the Day
"I had a dream you were a tire last night. I woke up and you were bald."
Next Joke
"What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair."
"What's long, straight, and found between a pair of legs? The hypotenuse."
"I got a job at the circus circumcising baby elephants. It pays peanuts, but the tips are huge."
"DAD: I can't believe you bought me a house for Christmas SON: I hope you enjoy it DAD: I'm just gonna... SON: Oh no DAD: Live in the present"
"'You'll go to hell for that joke' *in Hell Me: What did you do? Hitler: Genocide, what did you do? Me: Dunno tweeted a joke"
"If you're doing nothing wrong, you have nothing to hide from the giant surveillance apparatus the government's been hiding."
"Women are like potato chips They better come with my fucking sandwich"
"What has two arms,two legs and eats ants? Uncles"
"Why aren't cowboy jokes funny? Ya herd one, ya herd em all."