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Joke of the Day
"Two guys walk into a bar.... And the 2nd guy goes, ""I didn't see it either."""
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"I ran over someone and now there's a bunch of flowers where it happened. It's like, I came back to apologize, not be lavished with gifts"
"Teaching your kids to question everything is important. Until you're sitting there banging your head on the table."
"Behind closed doors, Rachael Ray prefers the sluttier olive oils."
"Why did Joey fall of the swing? Because he doesn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Joey."
"What does a rich fat Englishman gain? Lots of Pounds."
"What goes in God's Toilet? Holy crap."
"If a guy tells you he makes 6 figures a year it doesn't necessarily mean he's rich. He could be a really lazy guy working at a toy factory."
"Do you remember when your grandma was younger? Neither does she."
"A horse walks into a bar and says, ""On a right-angled triangle with sides X, Y and Z, if X and Z are perpendicular, which side is opposite the right angle?"" The bartender says, ""Y, the long face."""