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Joke of the Day
"What goes in God's Toilet? Holy crap."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a slut and a bowling ball? Nothing....you find them both in an alley, finger the holes, throw them in the gutter, and they keep coming back."
"i hope the guy behind me in line doesn't think i'm a weird cat lady cause my cart's full of fancy feast. i just like the way it tastes, dude"
"[first date] Me: so what do you do Date: i'm a veterinarian Me: thank you for your service Date: veterinarian not veteran Me: ok but still"
"My mom told me to get rid of my brick toys But I just can't lego"
"Why do I always seem to start my day backwards? I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake"
"Why are strip clubs now banned in South Carolina? Because they can't handle anyone else making it rain"
"Two nuns are sitting on a park bench... Two nuns are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. The first nun has a stroke. The second nun tried but she couldn't reach."
"What does American beer have in common with making love in a canoe? They're both fucking close to water."
"I think calling followers followers is a bit pretentious. I prefer to think of them as curious observers."