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Joke of the Day

"Spreading a woman's legs is like spreading butter... It can be done with a credit card, but I prefer to use a knife."

"Dog & Mosquito were in Love .. mosquito kissed the dog .. Dog became emotional...gave Love bite to mosquito . Mosquito died of Rabies & Dog died of Dengue . MORAL:- LOVE is DANGEROUS"

"Mike Tyson fires a nuke at his maths teacher. It was a weapon of math destruction. I'm so sorry."

"You ever made love to a man? You want to?"

"There is a time and a place for accosting people with baguettes (2 p.m., Whole Foods)."

"[Struts in lookin fly as heck in my speedo, shower cap and armfull of baby dolls struts out with new understanding of the term baby shower]"

"I just sold some Viagra to a guy who thought it was Adderall. He's going to have a very hard test tomorrow."

"I prayed to God asking him to give me a good husband. And the God did. My husband didn't pray - and he has got me to deal with."

"Have you ever gotten laid in a sleeping bag? It's horrible. You can't breathe, it's all sweaty, and your scoutmaster is covering your mouth."

"Do you know how many feminists it takes to change a light bulb? One, you asshole."