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Joke of the Day

"Spreading a woman's legs is like spreading butter... It can be done with a credit card, but I prefer to use a knife."

"Ain't no sandwich when she's gone."

"Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift's relationship is over after just three months because he wanted it to be more public... I guess she wanted it to be more Loki."

"Why did the Geometry major marry a Brit? Because she was a cute angle."

"What is a Coronal Mass Ejection? I might be wrong here, but I think it's when you throw up after drinking too much Mexican beer."

"How does a flight of steps check out a woman? It stares."

"A three-legged dog hobbles into an old western saloon He limps up to the bartender. ""I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."""

"What's the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?- They boo-kle their seatbelts"

"I like microwaves that spin the food around because I'm all, oh yeah, hot pocket, looking good, girl, from the front AND the back uh huh."

"What do you get if you cross human and goat DNA? Kicked out of the petting zoo"