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Joke of the Day

"How do you milk a sheep and make a profit? Remove the audio jack"

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"I lost my job at the orange juice factory They said I couldn't concentrate"
"When I was young, I thought girls didn't poop Now I realize they're all full of shit"
"Congratulations to Mumford & Sons for winning six ""Golden Banjos"" at the 2012 Boring Awards!!!"
"My company put me up in the cheapest hotel... I called down to the front desk and said ""I've got a leak in my sink."" They said ""Go ahead."""
"Me: Santa, why are women so scary? Santa: dude come on, I make $8.50 an hour, get off me."
"What if God IS a woman. Not only will I be going to Hell, but I'll never hear the end of it."
"a bloodbath has got to be the least effective type of bath"
"This belongs on r/NoSleep Because will have no sleep doing their homework tonight."
"While I might feel unsure how to react, my middle finger is well versed in handling stupid people."