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Joke of the Day
"Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer."
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"The coolest suicide would be to moisturize and not stop moisturizing until you become a tiny pond that fish and turtles live in"
"It's crazy how everyone sleeps differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back, and my ex sleeps with everyone."
"Why do I like sweet potatoes? Cuz they're yammy!!!"
"Marijuana? More like MOURNrijuana, because you're parents will have to go to your funeral if you try it. #no"
"What do you call a shop that sells aquatic vessels? A boat-ique. ...I'll get my coat."
"The Wall Donald Trump's plan to build a wall might actually work. The Chinese built a huge wall, and they have almost no Mexicans in their country."
"LIFE HACK: eat a cookie evry time u hav a good idea. this asociates idea w/ cookie. now evry time u eat a cookie u will think of a good idea"
"What do you get when you mix S&M with R&B? The Marquis de [Sade](http://i.imgur.com/srWEGsC.jpg)"
"When somebody sends me a ""k"" text, I assume they forgot the rest of ""fuc_ you"", so I make sure to correct them."