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Joke of the Day

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything."

"I asked the guy from 127 Hours for help with my homework. He said, ""I would give you a hand, but I'm stumped."" I'll show myself out."

"What is the difference between an onion and a hooker? I am not crying when chopping up the hooker. Thank you and goodbye forever!!"

"I don't get ""drunk"" during the holidays I get ""festive""."

"How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna ride bikes?!?"

"Santa Clause for Halloween. Axe Murderer for Christmas."

"If I had an email for every Hillary Clinton joke being made right now I'd have none."

"Girl: AH COO!! Man: Bless you. Girl: AH COO!! Man: Squared"

"I accidentally wore a red shirt to Target today and, long story short, I'm covering for Debbie this weekend."

"The clowns I hire always seem surprised to find I'm the only party guest."