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Joke of the Day

"""Is my butt is too big?"" my girlfriend asked, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Sensing a trap, I fell to the ground and played dead."

"elevator operator my career as an elevator operator was very up and down."

"What's the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger."

"What's the worst part about making out with a perfect 10? The cold feeling on your lips when you realize you're kissing the mirror"

"Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Neither did he"

"Why won't Apple's new MacBook sell well? ... because it has NO FANS!!! (get it? no fans? ... thank you!! don't forget to tip your server.)"

"Two goldfish are in a tank... ...one says to the other, ""You man the gun, I'll drive."""

"Andrew Johnson was the first US leader to ever be impeached. You could say it was unpresidented."

"Why do British people never sound British when they sing?"

"Mike Pence getting booed at Hamilton is the worst thing to ever happen to a politician at a play"