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Joke of the Day

"Wife smelled eggs and thought I was bringing her breakfast in bed. How do I tell her it was just me with gas?!"

"How was the hamburger murdered? First it was 'rolled' then smothered in onions"

"The American healthcare system ."

"I said to my neighbour Jamal... I said to my neighbour Jamal, ""You're like marmite, you know Jamal."" He replied, ""What? You love me or hate me?"" I replied, ""No, you're black and you fucking smell."""

"""I'm dreaming about mashed potatoes"" Oh because Thanksgiving is tomorrow ""No, just a normal mashed potato dream like usual"""

"Did you know Canada was originally going to be called ""CND""? When they were asked to spell it, they spelled it: C-eh. N-eh. D-eh."

"It's a shame that nobody is stepping up to defend the clown community Not even the mimes are talking"

"bowie leaves us and then a 9th planet appears, i don't need to read your science article"

"My kids teach frat boys how to trash houses."

"How many fugitives does it take to fix a light bulb? 1/3"