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Joke of the Day
"If I squint really hard, nope. You're still an idiot."
Next Joke
"Two prostitutes were walking down the street when one said to the other ""Girl, we're gonna be making some money tonight. I can smell dick in the air."" The other says ""Bitch please. I just burped."""
"If a woman is talking to me about her problems, I better be the cause of them."
"What does a Pirate say on his Eightieth birthday? AYE MATEY!"
"Every time I use a public bathroom, one thought occurs...""Seriously? This many people have Sharpies on them at all times?"""
"Someone Told me that Airplanes are the Safest Way to Travel... Now my friend has a Cessna in his living room..."
"[walking quickly past the old lady I just held the door open for] this doesn't mean you can order before me"
"You hear about the chameleon that couldn't change color? He had a reptile dysfunction."
"I got the early bird special at Denny's. Don't do it, these worms taste like shit."
"What's the opposite of a mango? Mancome"