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Joke of the Day

"[dating game] GIRL: contestant #1 tell me how u would woo me ME: woo like in duck tales woo woo or a different type of woo? G: contestant #2"

"What is an alcoholic Mexican's favorite book? Tequila Mockingbird"

"What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl? ""Just flush it like everybody else does."""

"How do dogs like to have sex? RUFF!"

"What do you call a practice exercise preparing for the possibility of observing hole-making tools undergoing a military parade? Drill drill drill."

"Put yourself in my shoes for a minute... ...Now you're a mile away, and you have my shoes!"

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? Because his wife died. Also; what is Forest Gump's password? 1Forest1"

"Does this cubicle make me look dead inside?"

"My friend got caught having a wank in the showers on a school trip It completely ruined our visit to Auschwitz"

"My mum needs to stop using all the blenders for stew.. It's pissing me off having spicy Oreo milkshake"