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Joke of the Day

"Teacher to russian student: Boris, beware, I have eyes in my back! russian student: What Are you braging about? I came from Chernobyl, I had a tail!"

"Why doesn't Meghan Trainor eat salmon? Because she's all about that bass"

"What's the definition of ""relative humidity"" in Arkansas? The amount of sweat you can lick off your fathers balls after sex."

"2034. All motivation comes from posters now. People can't even find the strength to poop without seeing italics over a meadow"

"Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty, and money can buy a lot of other really cool stuff, so try to have some at all times."

"Million dollar idea: an alarm clock that plays Nickelback if you hit snooze."

"This was the funniest joke in the world when I was five. why did the chicken cross the road roll in the dirt and cross the road again? because he was a dirty double crosser!"

"I learned today that ""bust a nut"" doesn't mean ""work really hard"" and boy aren't I embarrassed about using it in all those work memos."

"Did you hear about the butcher who backed up into a meat grinder? Apparently he got a little behind in his orders."

"Why did the school boy need Viagra? He was having trouble getting up in the morning."