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Joke of the Day
"Why doesn't Meghan Trainor eat salmon? Because she's all about that bass"
Next Joke
"When I die, I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. ... ... not screaming in terror like his passengers."
"Whats the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted"
"""Guess I'll turn on the news to see what the government is up to"" - The President of the United States"
"*cops finds my loose floorboard* Cop: What's under here... *they discover a lifetime supply of hot pockets* Me: I'd like my lawyer now."
"Why did all the residents of Flint, MI switch from the hip hop station to the classic rock radio station? They wanted to get the lead out."
"My momma always said life is like a load of laundry. Sometimes you gotta separate the colors from the whites."
"Your vehicle has this magical lever That shows which direction you're turning"
"Go up to a guy in a bar and whisper ""hey do you wanna get out of here?"" and if he says yes, you can sit where he was."
"What's baked every day and sells itself? My sister."