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Joke of the Day

"What if you told a lie to cover up your affair, and the lie was so good that 2000 years later people were still giving each other presents?"

"Are you fond of alternative sources for cooling technologies? I'm a huge fan."

"Damn girl are you an Indian reservation? Cause I want to lay some pipe in you."

"*gives up horoscopes for Lent *caves and reads horoscope ""You are weak willed and lack conviction"""

"On average, a single male has sex 89 times a year. Tomorrow is going to be really awesome for me!"

"Why are there so many Chinese people? Because as soon as you fuck a Chinese girl, you're horny again half an hour later."

"Dog Mechanic: The repair is gonna take longer than expected. ""Why's that?"" Dog Mechanic: The clutch is worn out, also because I am a dog."

"(Work in progress) I want to have sex with a news reporter. I want to have sex with a news reporter. As soon as enter her, I want to scream ""This Just In!"""

"I thought the wife was joking... ...when she said she wanted to go to Switzerland for a Monkees concert. Then I saw her face...now I'm in Geneva"

"Speed dating, but instead of talking, you just exchange phones for 3 minutes and try to glean as much information from them as you can."