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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the 5 year old go to the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13."

"Why wasn't Jesus born in Washington DC? They couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin"

"Growing up, I always wanted to be someone. Now that I'm old, I've realised I should have been more specific."

"I applied for a position as a stenographer, but I was disqualified when the blood test came back. Turns out I'm Type-O Plentiful."

"I was on a date with a girl last night... She told me she had an eating disorder. I looked at her solemnly for a minute and then asked her very nicely: ""So are you gonna eat 'dis order of fries then?"""

"I made up a good one. Why do so many white people do meth? Nobody likes a cracker without salt. *I'm white*"

"Barring any distractions, it only takes about three months to teach a meerkat how to throw knives."

"What's green, fuzzy, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree onto you it will probably kill you? A pool table. (*)"

"How was copper wire invented? Two jews fighting over a penny."

"What is the common enemy of frostbite victims and dairy products? Lack-toes Intolerance."