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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a 20 year old spaceship that whines all the time and never wants to run properly? The Millenial Falcon."

"Just figured out what ""CW"" means so now I have to re-read all of Twitter."

"Squirrels before girls."

"Jimmy the NASCAR driver liked to masturbate during the race. He always came first, but finished last."

"3 dyslexic mods walk into a bra... [deteled]"

"Every day I see my baby nephew, I lift him up repeatedly and say ""whee."" French is a tough language to learn. I want him to get a head start. :)"

"*walks in stumbling* Jesus, Paul how much have you had?!? ""Just a couple shots"" Oh that's not bad then *flashback to Paul injecting heroin*"

"A skeleton walks into a bar... and he orders a beer and a mop."

"What's the name of A support group for transgender superheroes? The Ex Men."

"If I was any lazier and non functioning I'd be Rosie O'Donnel's metabolism."