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Joke of the Day

"Part of me says, ""I can't keep drinking like this."" While another says ""Don't listen to her, she's drunk."""

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"When an Eel bites your heel, and pain is all you feel... Thats a ""Moray"""
"The Mars mission should include an artist to capture the alien planet The art would be out of this world."
"""You don't have to press the buttons harder to go faster"" Said no gamer ever."
"A: We are moving to nicer street B: So are we going to more peaceful one A: Really? You are moving too? B: No, we are staying"
"I lost over 100 pounds in the last week. The casinos here in London have terrible odds."
"What do you call someone who masturbates on a plane? A highjacker"
"It's confusing for me too, but I don't need your money so you're going to have to be a nice guy if this is going to work out."
"Why did the man put his car in the oven? Because he wanted a hot rod."
"What do two owl brothers say when they are carrying something? To me, to hoo."